


Fifty Days

by whalehuntingboyfriends



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, a little bit of hurt/comfort, also sliiightly enemies to lovers kind of, relationship drama, two insecure boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:06:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whalehuntingboyfriends/pseuds/whalehuntingboyfriends
Summary: Gavin’s had a massive crush on Jeremy since he joined the crew. Unfortunately, Jeremy despises the Golden Boy. When Jeremy pitches a new heist idea, they come up with a deal: in exchange for Gavin’s participation, Jeremy’s not allowed to hate him for fifty days. Gavin fully intends to make the most of it.





	Fifty Days

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Christmas!! I hope you've had a fantastic day <3 
> 
> I'm travelling at the moment but somehow I've managed to find more time to write than I did while I was at home - planning two new multichapters and working on oneshots/original stuff in the meantime :')

"Get down!"

Michael's frantic scream was the last thing Gavin heard before the explosion rang out and suddenly the world was nothing but red and white and _heat-_

And a heavy body on top of him, tackling him down. He gasped as he hit solid concrete, the breath knocked out of him, his head thudding painfully against the ground. For a moment he saw a burst of stars. A heavy wave of heat passed over them, making him screw his eyes shut. Then it passed, and he lay for a moment, gasping, his ears ringing so loudly they hurt. 

"Holy shit," he whispered, and the heavy weight shifted on top of him. Gavin opened his eyes and froze.

Jeremy was on top of him.

_Jeremy_ was the one pressed flush against his body, his chest heaving against Gavin's, legs straddling his waist, arms braced just above his head. Gavin could feel him breathing, could practically feel the frantic pounding of his heart through the thin layers of fabric that separated their chests. Jeremy's hat had been blown off his head by the force of the explosion; his bright orange hair was all askew and after a moment he lifted his head and his eyes met Gavin's.

Gavin swallowed. It was suddenly hard to breathe, and it was not, in fact, because Jeremy was slowly crushing his lungs. He couldn't look away, too aware of everywhere the two of them were touching.

"You okay?" Jeremy asked. Gavin was mostly reading his lips, since his ears were still ringing from the explosion. And okay, maybe staring right at his lips wasn't the best idea he'd ever had.

"Gavin?" Jeremy prompted, and he realised he hadn't spoken. The other man's brows were furrowed in concern now and after a second Jeremy sat up a bit and squeezed Gavin's shoulder and it was kind of everything he wanted-

He shook himself, swallowing and coming back to reality.

"Fine," he croaked out, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Jeremy looked relieved. And then, a second later, pissed off.

"Good," he said. "Maybe next time don't just stand there like a fucking idiot - were you zoning out again? In the middle of a heist? Michael said like six fucking times he was about to set those charges off!"

"Jeremy, there was a pigeon, Jeremy, and it had a little bald spot on the top of its head and it looked like Friar Tuck! I wanted to snapchat it to Dan."

"You're fucking hopeless," Jeremy said, rolling his eyes, and clambered off him.

Gavin became aware of other things now - the rattle of gunfire, the blaring of the fire alarm, the sound of the chopper overhead. Jack was here to pick them up. The heist was over. The weight on his chest eased and Jeremy walked away; Gavin sat up a little, staring after him, still breathless.

The hunch of Jeremy's shoulders, the thoroughly annoyed look on his face as he bent to pick up his hat and dust it off, were intimately familiar to him by now. Jeremy seemed to spend at least 80% of his time with Gavin in a state of extreme irritation, usually warranted. Gavin knew that in the three months since the other man joined the crew he had grown to hate him. It honestly wasn't deliberate on his part; after all, he'd gone from shy about the new member of their gang to head over heels for him. Not that he'd ever admit it. But something about him - well, many things - had pissed Jeremy off. Now Jeremy despised him.

It was pretty unfortunate, but Gavin was used to it. Nothing had ever worked out for him when it came to relationships, anyway.

It didn't mean he couldn't dream, though, and he sat there for a moment, just breathing, just watching, letting himself imagine a hundred ways that interaction could've played out differently. Jeremy on top of him, saving his life. _In another world, maybe._

"Gavin?"

Jeremy was looking at him again. For a second he almost seemed concerned, and Gavin realised that Jack was landing the chopper, now, and the others were emerging from the bank. It was time to go. He scrambled to his feet, and the moment Jeremy realised he was okay he turned away again, calling out something that sounded like "Hurry the fuck up!" It was hard to tell over the whir of the helicopter's blades.

Nothing new there.

He stood, staring after him longingly, heart fluttering, thinking of the warmth of Jeremy's body on top of his. What was the harm in imagining? But finally he shook himself and jogged after them. It was time to get out of here.

—

Nearly blowing up aside, the heist was actually pretty fucking successful, and they found themselves in one of their favourite dodgy pubs as usual after it was all done, unwinding with a few drinks, showing each other the news footage on their phones.

Gavin had gone home to shower and arrived a little later than the others. By the time he turned up, everyone was a few drinks in already; he meandered towards the bar where he could see Jeremy and Michael sitting together, heads thrown back and laughing over something.

It was rare for the Golden Boy to get nervous, not when Gavin had crafted such an impeccable image in the five years since he came to America that usually he was totally in control of what people saw when they looked at him. Blonde hair quiffed to perfection, sparkly highlighter in all the right places, number of buttons undone on his shirt calculated with mathematical precision. But somehow when he was around Jeremy all that confidence seemed to melt away and he felt as awkward and self conscious as he used to in high school when he was a gangly teen with a deeply unfortunate haircut.

He swallowed and approached them with his chin held high. These were his friends, after all, he shouldn't be stupid about it.

"Eyyy Gavino!" Michael yelled, in a frankly somewhat offensive attempt at an Italian accent. He ushered Gavin close and then slung an arm around his shoulders, ruffling his hair and undoing twenty minutes of careful work in front of a mirror from earlier that night. "How are you, boi? Sorry I nearly blew you up."

"It's fine! Jeremy saved me." Gavin cast Jeremy a small smile.

The other man looked good. Well, he always looked good, but even better now that he wasn't in his ridiculous Rimmy Tim getup (as much as Gavin loved the guy, purple and orange wasn't a combination that looked good on anybody). It was hot inside the bar and Jeremy had rolled up the sleeves of his simple button down shirt, revealing incredibly well-muscled forearms that made Gavin a bit weak at the knees to look at.

He did not smile back, just turned and took another drag from his beer. Gavin didn't really care, too busy staring at the way his tongue darted out to lick a little of the foam from his upper lip.

"You gotta be more careful, dude. This is your fifth near-death experience this week," Michael pointed out, pulling Gavin to sit on the bar stool next to him.

"I mean, it's a pretty common occurrence," Gavin replied. "By this point I think you should all just be used to it. That's just my normal day to day experience. Michael, I live life on the edge, Michael."

"By this point I think you should've learned to be more careful," Michael shot back, but there was no real malice in it. There never was with him.

With Jeremy, there certainly was, as he turned to Gavin now and gave a little scoff.

"The problem isn't just with you, asshole. Once it's on the rest of us to save you, you're putting us in danger as well."

Gavin couldn't help looking away. He knew Jeremy probably didn't mean it to, but that hit deep. He'd been in and out of trouble since he was a kid, he was used to putting himself at risk. But the possibility that one of his many fuck-ups might hurt one of the others was something he didn't want to think about. It was one of the reasons that he'd actually stopped doing explosives for the crew - he'd been the blow-shit-up guy before Geoff brought Michael in. Too much possibility for something to go very, very wrong.

Michael pounded him on the back and called for the bartender, and Gavin shook his gloom off and busied himself looking around the bar for the others. The three gents seemed to be clustered around the pool table. From the looks of things a fight had broken out and Ryan was brandishing a pool cue at some guy and apparently threatening to do rather nefarious things with it while Geoff stood by laughing his ass off and spilling his lemonade everywhere. Nothing new there, then.

When Gavin turned back around, Michael had disappeared and his heart quickened as he realised he was left with Jeremy, sitting a couple of stools away from him and draining the rest of his beer. He swallowed and shifted closer to him.

"Jeremy," he cooed, "Thanks for saving me today. I really do appreciate it. Can I buy you a drink as thanks?"

"Nah, I'm good," Jeremy replied, without even looking at him.

Gavin bit his lip. He should've been used to this - it was far from the first time he'd asked Jeremy if he wanted to get lunch, or play video games together, or otherwise hang out, and usually the other man blew him off. But this time somehow hurt more - maybe because he'd been thinking about Jeremy on top of him all day, or he'd assumed the other man saving his life meant he did care. 

The silence stretched on. He wanted to open his mouth and say something, salvage this, not give up quite so easily - but he couldn't find the words. Until he put on the Golden Boy persona, he'd used to be so self conscious that getting turned down - from anything - was pretty much the worst fucking thing that could ever happen. Usually nowadays it didn't. But today it hurt more than usual, and after a moment he turned and shuffled awkwardly away.

He sat in a booth by himself for the rest of the night, mechanically eating a schnitzel and chips and watching the others at the pool table - and Jeremy, too, when he went to join them.

Totally not pining. Totally not, even if he sat there miserably the entire night doing nothing but stare at Jeremy and wonder where the fuck he'd gone wrong, what he could do to change this, fantasising over a hundred different scenarios where the other man came to sit with him, or he went up and somehow won the entire game of pool in one go therefore impressing him beyond belief. The fact that he had no idea how to play pool was not a factor in this daydream - oh, oh, actually, what if instead Jeremy _taught_ him to play pool? That was even better - he shut his eyes and imagined the other man walking up behind him, wrapping his arms around him as he took Gavin's wrists and helped him manoeuvre into the right position. He could practically feel the warmth of Jeremy's chest against his back.

"Hey," a voice said softly next to him, and he turned. A handsome blonde man with startling blue eyes was hovering by his booth. He smiled when Gavin met his eyes. "You look a bit lonely over here. Mind if I join you?"

"I'm fine, thanks," Gavin replied automatically.

"Are you sure? You're all by yourself over here." 

"I'm certain, but thank you," Gavin said, and the guy raised his eyebrows before nodding and backing off. Gavin watched him sit next to a pretty young woman at the bar and lean in to talk to her instead, and turned away with a little sigh. That guy was his type, too - muscular and polite and with a nice smile, and he was even wearing an Assassin's Creed t-shirt, so they would've had similar interests. What the fuck was wrong with him?

He knew _exactly_ what, and his gaze drifted back to Jeremy. He watched the other man bite his lip in concentration as he hit the pool ball. From this angle Gavin couldn't see what happened, but Jeremy's play must've worked out because he crowed with joy and danced around, his arms in the air, head thrown back as he laughed. God, he was beautiful.

_It's never gonna happen._

He knew it, he fucking knew it, and it was time to get over it, but he had a giant crush and those didn't go away easily. 

And at the start...

At the start Jeremy had been super nice. That was why Gavin had fallen for him in the first place. He'd been all shy when he joined the crew, because the Fakes were kinda a big deal in this city and Jeremy had been following their work for a long time. They'd worked together on a few jobs and Jeremy was patient with him in a way that all the others except Ryan had long stopped being. He'd helped Gavin out with all his antics and explained all this stuff about motorbikes to him and been, like, ridiculously gentle. And that'd been nice. He was so sweet that Gavin, who was usually pretty shy around new people himself, hadn't had a problem getting close to him.

Then as time went on, Jeremy started getting comfortable with the others, started figuring out his own place among the crew, and as he got more confident he started teasing Gavin just as much as the others.

That wasn't what Gavin had a problem with. He had thick skin and he knew a joke was just a joke. He wouldn't have lasted this long if he took everything the others said to heart.

But somewhere along the line, it seemed like Jeremy genuinely started to hate him. If Gavin had to pinpoint an exact moment, he thought it might've been after they pulled one of the heists he'd planned - a jewellery store robbery that brought a bunch of diamonds into their hands. He'd used his cut to buy a bunch of stuff for his apartment and Jeremy had been affronted, for some reason, by a very fancy garbage bin that Gavin had gotten. After that it was like he couldn't get the idea of Gavin as some sort of rich brat out of his head and from there it was all snarky comments about how spoilt he was, or how much he fucked up on heists, and he was pretty certain that Jeremy hated him. Mostly because he said it all the time - "God, I hate you" and "I hate you so fucking much" and "Jesus Christ I could wring your damn neck, I hate you."

Gavin could hardly blame him; he knew he could be annoying, and a bit thick at times, and he did fuck things up a hell of a lot.

Why would someone like Jeremy ever be interested in someone like him?

\---

Gavin could not have imagined when he woke up that morning that everything was about to change. By all accounts it began as a perfectly ordinary day - he arrived at the penthouse with his chai latte in hand and a notebook full of new heist ideas. Now that they'd finished that bank robbery it was time to get cracking on a new job.

Jeremy was the first to stand up at their group meeting. He was wearing a dark purple shirt and no orange for once. The colour suited him, Gavin couldn't help thinking, it was a deep violet. A royal sort of colour. The shirt clung to him in all the right places.

He seemed a little nervous, the way he still got sometimes when he was presenting a big idea to Geoff. Gavin tried his best to smile and nod encouragingly as Jeremy gave his pitch, but the other man barely spared him a glance.

"I don't know, Jeremy," Geoff said dubiously once he was done. "Like, I love the _theatre_ of it all, but I don't know that a group of us can pull off infiltrating a music festival, let alone as one of the acts - even if it is in Germany. It's a lot of money to invest in something that could go horribly wrong."

Jeremy bit his lip.

"I know it's a big gamble," he admitted. "I know it's flashy, but I really think we can pull it off. I know Funhaus did something similar last year, spent ages building up some stupid boyband and then killed a bunch of their hits at concerts around the world. Worse comes to worst, we'll be in a different country so there won't be any damage to our reputation."

"It's not our reputation I'm worried about," Geoff said.

"I know," Jeremy repeated. "If it's the money for travelling that far, I'm happy to foot the plane tickets. I just think it'd be really cool to do something that involves more pretence, more playing a part. And if we do pull it off it'll be such a fucking good story. That's what the Fakes are built on. That's what drew me to you guys in the first place. The _stories."_

"If it helps, Geoff," Ryan piped up, from where he'd been sitting at the end of the table with his feet propped up filing his nails with an enormous knife, "I'm more than happy to participate. You already know about my modelling background, but I also did theatre once. If Jeremy wants me to get up on some festival stage and perform, I'll do it. Easy."

Jeremy shot him a grateful look and Ryan smiled back. A pang of something too close to envy shot through Gavin; the two of them had been closer lately, called themselves the Battle Buddies or some shit. Jeremy hadn't teamed up with him in a long time and when they did the other man spent most of his time telling Gavin off. Granted, that's what usually happened with _anyone_ he teamed up with, and he was usually just happy they got to spend one on one time together, but still. It just felt awful knowing that out of everyone in the crew he was the one Jeremy despised.

"If Jeremy needs me to rap I'm happy to," Michael replied, and then, inexplicably, "I got them beats, bro," followed by a rather dubious attempt at beatboxing that just ended up showering Gavin, beside him, in spit.

"Michael," he said crossly, and had to take his sunglasses off to wipe them clean.

"Also, Lindsay's a fucking amazing singer, we should bring her in on this," Michael said.

"It sounds like fun, to be honest," Jack added. "I'm in."

Geoff looked around at them all, then at Jeremy, who was twisting his hands together nervously. He smiled and reached out to clap Jeremy on the shoulder.

"Sounds like you have enough people to pull this off with or without me, so who am I to stop you?" he asked. "You draw me up a proper plan and I think we can work this out."

Jeremy's shoulders slumped in relief. 

"Thank you," he said, clasping Geoff's hand. "I won't let you down, I promise."

It was the first heist he'd planned, considering how new he was. The first one was always a big bloody deal. Gavin was so busy mulling over this that he didn't realise everyone was turning to him until Geoff asked, "Gav, you in too?"

It was then that he had to actually, you know, think about the plan itself instead of just focusing on the way Jeremy's voice got all fast and high when he was nervous, and the shiny gold cufflinks he had on, and how nice his beard looked today as he'd trimmed it shorter than usual. Oh, yes, he thought about the plan - and promptly froze.

"Um," he managed.

_You in, too?_

He looked frantically at the brief on the board and his stomach sank further and further with horror at the sight of his own role in it. Get up on stage in front of hundreds of people? Do some sort of fucking musical performance on it? Jesus bloody Christ but that was the last damn thing in the world he wanted to do. He loved Jeremy. He did not love this idea.

"I... I don't think I can do the performance part, but I'm happy to steal anything you need," he said. Then squeaked when Jeremy charged around the side of the table towards him.

"Gav," he said, and gripped his shoulders, leaning in. He was close and warm and Gavin could smell his cologne and his eyes were so intense they nearly looked black. "Dude, come on, I need you on this. You're the only one of us who speaks German. You gotta be up on that stage."

"I can't," Gavin said weakly, "I'll do anything else but I can't do that, Jeremy. Can't someone else do it?"

"They all have other roles. Everyone has very, very _precisely_ planned out parts in this operation." Jeremy squeezed his shoulders, not quite hard enough to hurt, and Gavin wanted to melt, but he also didn't like how he was the one who'd put that frantic, pleading note in Jeremy's voice. "Can you like not fuck this up for everyone for once."

"I'm not trying to," Gavin replied, just as pleading. "It's a top idea, Jeremy, I mean it, it's _brilliant._ But I get really bad stage fright and I can't sing. I'm _serious."_

"That's bullshit. Stage fright? You're the fucking Golden Boy, your whole _life_ is a performance. You're seriously trying to convince me now that you're shy?"

Gavin stared into his eyes. He could tell how important this was. He could _tell_ that Jeremy really, genuinely thought that he was just being an asshole here, just being difficult as usual. He hadn't been here long enough, he didn't know Gavin's limits like the others did.

"That's different," Gavin whispered, "I can't do it. I'm sorry, Jeremy, I really am - I'll help you rework the plan? Maybe Trevor can do my part? I'll help with all the other stuff-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jeremy let go of him and whirled away; Gavin reached out but he was already out of reach. The others watched him, a little concerned.

"Hey," Jack began, "We can rework it together. Trevor might be a good idea, how about-"

"What can I do to make you do this for me?" Jeremy asked, ignoring him. He'd turned to Gavin again, eyebrows raised. "I'm serious, if I can get you in on this I'll do anything. A motorcycle? Jewellery? Swarovski crystals? What do you want?"

"What?" Gavin squawked. "Nothing! I could buy any of that myself. There's nothing you can buy me."

"I hate you," Jeremy repeated, defeated, and something broke a little in Gavin's chest - something bitter and resigned that'd been growing since last night's incident in the pub, something that had been starting to stretch too thin after time and time and time again he got his hopes up only to realise he was just being a pathetic idiot.

"How about you not hate me for fifty days," he muttered - a joke, a bitter one, one that just sort of popped out - but Jeremy's back stiffened, and he turned, and Gavin realised he'd heard. They stared at each other for a long moment.

"Okay," Jeremy said finally.

Wait. What?

"What?" Gavin asked, and Michael started laughing next to him, that particular cackle of his that always foreboded some shit about to go down.

"If that's really what you want, I'll do it. As long as you participate in my heist." Jeremy was staring at him earnestly now and suddenly Gavin felt almost flustered, unsure how to meet his eyes.

"Shouldn't you ask what 'not hating him' entails?" Ryan drawled. He'd lowered his knife now and was watching the two of them with interest.

Jeremy turned to Gavin with a questioning look and he swallowed. And okay - okay. His mind was racing with possibilities now. This was not the direction he'd expected his morning to go.

"It involves," he said, slowly, "Not saying mean stuff to me anymore. And coming with me on jobs if I want you to and not calling me an idiot when I mess things up. And replying to all my texts. And going out to do stuff with me if I ask you to."

"Just because you don't hate someone doesn't mean you gotta do everything they say," Michael pointed out. "Sounds more like you're about to become his personal servant, Lil J."

"For fifty days? I can do that. We have a deal." Jeremy held his hand out and Gavin's heart nearly stopped. He hadn't expected him to actually go along with it. But they were all waiting expectantly, and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears, and he reached out and shook Jeremy's hand. His grip was very warm and firm and it was possible that Gavin didn't absorb a single other thing that got planned in that meeting.

\---

Later that night, Gavin lay in bed with his cat sitting on his chest impeding his ability to eat pringles and considered the possibilities.

Dear God, how had this sweet, sweet opportunity fallen right into his hands? Fifty days of Jeremy not hating him. Fifty days of being able to hang out with him whenever he wanted. He absolutely was going to take full advantage of this.

For a moment - for a treacherous, treacherous moment the thought flitted into his mind that Jeremy might fall for him. That was what happened in all the movies, wasn't it? 

But he dismissed it quickly.

_Don’t be stupid. Don’t get your hopes up. Every time you do it only ends up in disappointment. He isn’t gonna fall for you - he’s gonna_ pretend _to like you for fifty days and then go straight back to despising you._

But for fifty days…

For fifty days, _Gavin_ could pretend. Fifty days of joy, of what-ifs, of living in the fantasy world he’d concocted in his mind. Fifty days of bliss - and then, he resolved, and _then_ he’d move on, because this was causing him nothing but heartbreak. Fifty days of seeing what could have been - and then he’d do everything in his power to forget about Jeremy. He’d pick up some stranger in a bar, he’d re-activate his fucking Tinder account, he’d take up one of Barbara’s many offers to set him up on a blind date.

_After,_ he thought. _Let me have this, first. Just for a little while._

—

The next morning Gavin woke up, realised what day it was, felt a funny sort of thrill shoot through his entire body, and promptly texted Jeremy ‘ _Good morning lil j!!!! :’) <3 <3 :poop:’_

He sprang out of bed like it was Christmas morning and kept his phone propped very precariously on the edge of the bathroom sink while he brushed his teeth and salvaged the mess that was three days of accumulated hairspray and dry shampoo. Then he did what he liked to call his ‘excited makeup’ which he reserved for only the most festive of occasions. It involved a particular shade of eyeshadow called ‘Dragon’s Den’ which was just a bit too thrilling for everyday wear.

It took half an hour, but when his phone buzzed with a message and promptly fell into the sink, he felt his whole body jolt with excitement.

‘ _Good morning.’_ Jeremy had replied. The full stop was brusque as fuck but Gavin couldn’t stop smiling.

—

It was clear that the bet was on Jeremy’s mind as well. He seemed to be on the lookout for Gavin and the second he walked into the penthouse Jeremy quickly looked away from the door, shoulders tensing, before he got up and tried to escape.

“Wait!” Gavin cried, intercepting him at the door. “Good morning, Jeremy!”

“Good morning,” Jeremy replied. He looked nervous and his smile was forced.

“You’re with me today,” Gavin beamed, bouncing up and down on his heels. “I asked Geoff to send us out together. We’re going for a bit of a drive to meet a client - organise a weapons deal. It shouldn’t take too long, but since we’re going into their territory I need backup.”

Jeremy sighed, but followed him out towards the car. 

“Why do you look so sad, little Jeremy?” Gavin asked.

“Because I can already tell, you’re gonna be determined to make the next fifty days of my life miserable.”

“No I’m not,” Gavin said. They reached his bright purple Audi and he opened the passenger door for Jeremy. “I’m gonna be lovely. And we’re gonna have loads of fun together. I have heaps of things planned. Why would I want to make you upset, Jeremy?”

“Just spending time with you is miserable,” Jeremy muttered. It was the sort of off-the-cuff comment that the others made all the time, but it stung more coming from him. Still. Gavin just took a deep breath.

“That’s mean,” he replied, as brightly as he could, “And remember, for the next fifty days you’re not allowed to be mean.”

“It’s not _mean_ ,” Jeremy argued.

“Saying that I’m so annoying that it’s a pain to even spend time with me? It’s savage, at the very least. If you heard a little kid saying it to another little kid on the playground you’d be like, stop that, it’s not nice. Go to the naughty corner.”

“We’re not little kids,” Jeremy said, but looked thoughtful for a moment. 

“And remember,” Gavin added, “If you don’t keep your end of the deal then I won’t keep mine!”

_That_ seemed to alarm Jeremy; his eyes widened and he nodded before quickly getting in the car. Gavin climbed in too, and they headed out together. 

Gavin didn’t think the two of them had ever driven together in _his_ car before, only in heist vehicles or sometimes Jeremy’s truck if they were going to pick up supplies for something. He could see the other man taking in the gold seat covers, the handful of individually wrapped mints in each cup holder like it was a hired limousine, the Union Jack keyring hanging from the rear view mirror. His mouth opened like he was going to say something. Then shut again, which made it pretty fucking obvious what sort of comment it was gonna be.

“What music do you like?” Gavin asked, as they pulled out of the driveway.

“Huh?” Jeremy had been gazing out the window. “Um. Rock, mainly. Three Days Grace. Linkin Park. Shit like that.”

Gavin nodded. He paused at the bottom of the driveway and quickly navigated to Linkin Park on Spotify before putting his phone away and his hands back on the wheel. Jeremy looked surprised and Gavin glanced over at him and smiled.

“I don’t listen to stuff like that much. Don’t know a lot about it. I’m happy to give it a shot, though.”

Jeremy’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, but after a moment he seemed to realise Gavin was in earnest. He settled back in his own seat.

“What do you like?” he asked after a moment.

“The classics! Not like, classical music, although who doesn’t love my main man Beethoven now and then. That’s some dramatic shit right there. Great for heist prep. But I mean, like, old stuff - The Beatles, mainly, a lot of seventies bands.”

“Really?” Jeremy asked. “Wouldn’t have picked you for it.”

Gavin shrugged a bit.

“I listened to it a lot growing up,” he said. “Although I’ve been trying out more modern stuff since I got Spotify. I discovered MisterWives recently. They have a song called _Vagabond_. It’s actually kinda fitting to Ryan.”

Jeremy snorted, almost affectionately. They drove off together and it wasn’t that bad, actually. It was a bright, sunny day even if it was Winter, and the band had some good tunes even if it wasn’t what Gavin usually listened to. Jeremy started unconsciously bopping his knee to the music after a while and Gavin struggled not to smile. He could nearly pretend that this was normal for them; the comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company.

“I can’t believe Michael’s gonna rap in your heist,” Gavin said finally. “He’s gonna be absolutely terrible, just so you know. He may have sounded very enthusiastic but he can’t carry a tune to save his life. We went to karaoke once. I still have nightmares about it.”

“You went to karaoke yet you’re claiming you get stage fright,” Jeremy said, stroking his beard thoughtfully.

“Oh, I didn’t sing,” Gavin countered. “I just filmed.”

“Sounds just like you,” Jeremy said. “Stand by the sidelines laughing while making everyone else humiliate themselves.”

Was Gavin reading too much into the bite in his voice? Either way, he shook it off and grinned instead.

“It’s a gift,” he said, “It’s why Geoff hired me in the first place.”

They only got into one fight on the drive, when Gavin got stuck in some traffic and made a few dodgy sort of turns and Jeremy started snapping at him about his driving skills (which was, to be fair, sort of warranted, because Gavin may have ended up on the curb more times than not and maybe got left and right confused a little somewhere in the middle), but it only took a sharp look from Gavin for the other man to back down.

The next trouble came when they reached the deal itself. Gavin parked the car and paused when Jeremy started loading his gun.

“Hey,” he said - Jeremy looked up, one eyebrow raised. He’d put his sunglasses on and all Gavin could see was his own face reflected back at him in the dark lens. Damn. That _Dragon’s Den_ eyeshadow was maybe a little bit _too_ exciting for this time of day. Like some beverages, it should probably be reserved for dinnertime and later. “You haven’t met Bianco before, have you?”

“No. Heard about him, though.” Jeremy shoved his gun away and reached for the car door. Gavin grabbed his arm to stop him.

“He’s a… sensitive kinda guy. I’m gonna need you to hold back and let me handle it.”

Jeremy stared at him for a second, then his brows furrowed.

“Don’t trust me not to fuck it up?” he snapped, something almost _hurt_ in his voice. “This is a rich boy conversation, huh? Needs the Golden Boy touch?”

“Actually, it does,” Gavin said, keeping his voice level. “Bianco and I have a good understanding with each other. He comes from the same part of Italy that my grandfather did. I’m good at handling him. I don’t think you’re _not_ , but it’s safer if I take the lead.”

Jeremy couldn’t seem to argue with that. After a moment Gavin laughed a bit.

“Wow, it’s taking a lot to keep you from my throat today. You really must hate me a lot.”

“Enduringly,” Jeremy muttered.

“Well, not for fifty days!” Gavin said, brightly. “Your hatred levels must stay at 0%! And we’re gonna do a _lot_ of fun stuff!”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and clambered out of the car. Gavin took a moment to pause and check his hair, pulling his own sunglasses on before taking a deep breath and following him.

—

Gavin wasn’t usually self conscious when he was working, but with Jeremy lurking around watching him everything felt different. Still, he knew he was a good negotiator, and this wasn’t a particularly difficult client. It also helped that Jeremy couldn’t understand their stream of fast-paced Italian.

The deal took about fifty minutes - fifty minutes in which Jeremy stood around with his hand on his gun while Gavin laughed with Bianco, let the other man pound him on the back, caught up on a bunch of gossip and then finally managed to sort out their payment.

At last he managed to end the conversation. With a final “ _Va bene - va bene allora, ciao!”_ he escaped from the old warehouse with Jeremy trailing behind him. They paused just outside the doors and Gavin took out his water bottle, glad to have a chance to stop just for a moment.

“That guy chews up so much of my energy,” he said. “I’ve, like, hit my limit for human interaction for the day after that. I’m actually _excited_ to go back to the base and do paperwork.”

“What other languages do you speak?” Jeremy asked abruptly.

“French, but not well enough for most French people to not immediately switch to English when I try talking to them.” He started back to the car. Jeremy was looking at him oddly and Gavin bit his lip.

_Probably thinks I’m rich and annoying as usual,_ he couldn’t help thinking. _The private school brat who speaks four languages and thinks he’s better than everyone else_. 

As it was, when Jeremy next looked over at him it wasn’t with a thinly veiled insult or snarky comment.

“You hungry?” he said instead, and Gavin nodded immediately.

“Yes! You just reminded me of my next fantastic idea. Let’s go to lunch together.”

“I was thinking, like, McDonalds drive through would be fast-”

“Oh no, Jeremy.” He slung an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders and the other man didn’t pull away, and managed to barely contain his enthusiasm that he could _do_ that now. “Let’s go _properly_ to lunch together.”

—

The restaurant was probably a touch too pricey considering Jeremy already thought he was a wealthy prat, but it had such an incredible view of the hill that sloped down Achievement City towards the water that even Jeremy couldn’t complain about it. They sat out on the terrace, the sunlight keeping them warm even if it was a pretty brisk day, and Gavin took far too many snapchats of everything, but Jeremy just rolled his eyes and even sneakily took a photo of his own.

It wasn’t like Gavin hadn’t been here on his own before with Burnie, or Geoff, or Michael and Lindsay sometimes, but things felt different now. He had to keep telling himself it wasn’t a date, that Jeremy would be affronted if he knew Gavin was even thinking that. It was all just - pretend.

But it was still nice to be able to sit here and get to know each other more, and when Gavin started talking about Jeremy’s heist idea the other man perked up and really got going - his eyes bright with excitement, hands gesturing all over the place as he laid it all out for Gavin, who watched, drinking in every enthusiastic movement, revelling in the passion in Jeremy’s voice.

“It is a good idea,” he said finally. “I know I didn’t say that before because I was nervous about my part, but I do like it. It’s very _us_. And very flashy, which I’m always all for.”

Jeremy laughed. His cheeks looked a little red.

“Thanks,” he replied. “I put so much thought into it. I’ve imagined how it might look like five hundred times by now. I actually never thought Geoff would agree to it.”

“Geoff’s open to anything if you can show him you’ve put the thought in and figured out how it’ll work. Plus it sounds like fun. And it’s something _different_ \- it takes guts to pitch an idea like that. Ooh, that reminds me, I gotta show you the Agatha Christie inspired diamond heist Ryan and I are working on. It’s a work in progress, but so far it involves three different continents, an international cruise ship, and Ryan posing as a Hungarian Count. It’s not just a heist, it’s a work of _art_.”

“Sounds amazing,” Jeremy said, and Gavin grinned. 

They fell into a comfortable silence. Eventually Jeremy nodded at Gavin’s plate.

“Is that really all you’re gonna eat?” he asked. He’d gone for just an entree and as was typical with restaurants like this, the prices on the menu were inversely proportional to the portion sizes.

“Oh, did you want some? It’s really good!”

“No, it just doesn’t seem like a lot.”

“I hate eating in my work clothes.” Gavin pushed an overpriced scallop around his plate and smiled a bit. “The Golden Boy’s very controlled. When I’m dressed like this it’s hard not to stay… ‘in character,’ so to speak. It just feels weird. Catch me at home eating Pizza Hut in my undies, though.”

“You’re serious? It’s that much of an act? But you’re not even on the job at the moment.”

“It’s easier this way. Means I don’t get all mixed up. Ryan’s the same; when the mask’s on he’s the Vagabond, no exceptions. But that’s why usually the second we get to the Penthouse after a heist it’s straight to the bathroom to take all this shit off.” He cut the scallop into six pieces to make it last longer. Jeremy stared at him, eyes wide. They made very awkward eye contact for about thirty seconds while Gavin chewed on his prawn.

“So!” Gavin declared finally. “Ever been to Germany before?”

“No, never. I’ve actually never been overseas in my life. The move from Boston to AC is the farthest I’ve ever travelled.” His shoulders hunched. “You probably think that’s pathetic.”

“No I don’t. How’s AC treating you?”

It was weird because it felt like they were catching up even though they saw each other practically every day - they just hadn’t had a proper conversation, one on one, about something other than work in a long time. Jeremy seemed hesitant, but after a moment he did start talking about how stupid fucking hot it was in AC, about the street food he’d tried, the movie theatre near his flat that he liked to go to at night on the weekends, the various colourful characters who shared his apartment complex. It was nice just to share stories for a bit and Gavin hung on his every word.

“How about you?” Jeremy asked finally, “Have you travelled a lot? How come you speak so many other languages so well?”

“German and French I did at school, and then I lived there for a bit afterwards and picked up a lot more. But I’ve spoken Italian since I was a kid. My grandad was in the mafia and after my parents died I lived with him. That’s how I got involved in the whole gang business. Nonno was a fantastic guy in his prime, a real ripper of a crook,” he added, and Jeremy nodded for him to keep going, and Gavin found that so exciting that he promptly launched into a series of wild stories about his grandfather’s glory days. 

He realised he’d been talking for about fifteen minutes straight when Jeremy’s phone on the table buzzed with a text message. When Jeremy glanced at it, Gavin followed his gaze, saw the time and felt suddenly horribly embarrassed as he realised he hadn’t let the other man get a word in. He faltered to a stop.

_What the fuck are you doing? You’re probably annoying him with all your chattering_.

“Sorry,” he said quickly - Jeremy looked up from his phone, eyebrows raised, and Gavin’s stomach sank even more. “I got a bit carried away.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jeremy said, but Gavin felt too self conscious now. He got up quickly, realised he’d been yabbering on so much he hadn’t even finished his food, but felt too awkward to shovel the rest of the salad down.

“I’ll get the bill,” he said, and rushed off before Jeremy could say anything.

As he stood waiting for his credit card to process, he kicked himself, feeling stupider and stupider by the second as he thought about Jeremy sitting there listening to him prattling on.

_Don’t blow this right at the start,_ he thought, furiously. _Even if he’s being forced to be here, you_ want _him to like you. It’d be nice if you could, like, keep yourself under control for at least two bloody seconds so you don’t piss him off even more._

By the time he got back to the table Jeremy was hovering hesitantly next to it. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Gavin had already plastered on his Golden Boy smile. He beckoned and Jeremy followed him out.

“You paid for my lunch,” he said to Gavin as they got in the car. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Gavin assured him, “It’s not like I can’t afford it.”

“Figured you’d want me to pay for everything. Part of our deal and all that.”

Gavin shook his head. He thought he saw Jeremy frown, but didn’t dwell on it. They got in the car and headed back to the penthouse in silence.

— 

“It’s freezing,” Jeremy grumbled. “Why the fuck have you brought me here?”

Gavin bounced happily up from where he’d been sitting on the steps outside the penthouse, waiting for him. They were three weeks into their deal by now and so far he’d mostly been getting Jeremy to join him on jobs and drive him around all over the place. Overall he was thoroughly enjoying himself. It was nice not having the guy he liked put him down all the time; even if he’d never taken _offence_ to it, not really, he hadn’t realised until now how much more pleasant it was to have Jeremy on his side instead, greeting him in the morning and offering to get him tea when they worked late at night. Even if it was all just to get what he wanted, it was still nice.

This was the first time he’d called on the other man in outside work hours.

It was a frigid Saturday morning and both of them were bundled up against the wind and the cold. Gavin was shivering even with the hood of his warmest coat up and his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

He was honestly surprised Jeremy had even shown up. He'd been pretty sure that he wouldn't.

"I have an excursion planned!" he declared, as he walked over to the other man. Jeremy looked frankly adorable, all bundled up like a little penguin with a woolly purple hat on his head. It even had a fluffy pompom on the end of it. "No one else wanted to come and I didn't want to go by myself so I figured I'd ask you."

Jeremy sighed. A long stream of white mist billowed from his mouth.

"It's the stupid science exhibition, isn't it?" he said.

_"It's the science exhibition!"_ Gavin cried, and bounced down the street towards the train station. Jeremy trailed along behind him, shoulders hunched and face practically disappearing into his scarf as the chilly wind managed to creep into every slightly exposed sliver of skin.

The Museum of Technology down in the city was putting on an exhibition about artificial intelligence and the history of robots that Gavin had been talking about all week. No one had been nearly as enthusiastic about it as he was and he'd been pestering Michael, and then Jack and Geoff, to come to it with him, to no avail. 

The penthouse was close to the train station and before long they were standing on the platform waiting. It was even colder here, with no walls to break the wind, and Gavin hopped around like Tigger trying to keep warm. Jeremy stood with every limb retracted into his coat like a snail, watching him.

"Want my scarf?" he asked after a minute.

Gavin paused in his frantic bouncing to stare at him.

"No," he said. "I don't want to make you cold just because you think you need to keep up your end of the deal. I'm not that much of an asshole."

"No, I'm legitimately offering," Jeremy said. His voice was all flat and gruff like he was embarrassed about what he was saying. "It's not because of the deal. You look like you're freezing. I think your nose is gonna turn blue in a minute; you need to cover it with something. It's a fucking liability."

"Rude," Gavin said, but took the scarf when Jeremy offered it to him, bundling it around his neck and burying his face in it. It smelled like Jeremy's aftershave. Was it creepy that he noticed that? He didn't think it was creepy, but then again he was kind of biased.

The train arrived before long. This early on a weekend, they had the carriage nearly to themselves. He sat opposite Jeremy, staring at the other man's reflection in the window as they zipped through the city.

"I didn't think this was your kind of thing," Jeremy commented after a moment.

"What, science?"

"Yeah," Jeremy replied, "Maybe thought a fashion show or something on precious metals was more your scene."

"Then you don't know me at all, Lil J," Gavin said, rather indignantly. "I love space, science and anything technological. I live in the _future."_

"With all your gadgets," Jeremy said, and Gavin winced a little, knowing exactly what he was thinking of. _That bloody bin._

"Science was my favourite subject at school," Gavin continued, quickly changing the topic. "I hated chemistry but physics was good fun."

"I was shit at everything at school," Jeremy said. "Except sport. Used to just muck up in class and prank people all the time."

Gavin smiled, imagining a young Jeremy just as short and stocky as he was now, only beardless. For some reason his hair was still orange and purple.

"Achievement City has a great museum scene," he added now. "We're lucky in that respect. Ryan and I spent a lot of time going around together visiting all the exhibitions and galleries - that's how we became such great friends. I was terrified of him before we started going on those adventures. He was gonna come with me today but then his dog got sick. But I'm glad you're coming along - I thought it might be nice for you to widen your cultural scope."

"Are you calling me uncultured?" Jeremy snapped - for a second Gavin thought he was joking, then he realised he'd taken genuine offence. "I had no money growing up to go to museums and shit."

"Okay," Gavin said, "Don't jump down my throat. Firstly, a lot of smaller museums are free. You only pay for special exhibitions." Jeremy was giving him a suspicious look and he raised his hands defensively. "I'm not joking, they are literally _free_. Same with art galleries. Secondly, that's not what I meant at all. Just that some people don't think to go to them. I'm not as much of a dick as you seem to think I am, Jeremy. And you've been with the crew long enough to know that we don't think any less of you just 'cause you're new."

Jeremy looked away, something vulnerable crossing his face. Gavin bit his lip, wishing he'd never started this conversation in the first place. But Jeremy didn't seem angry, just thoughtful, and the silence as they sat and watched the city fly past was more companionable than awkward.

\---

The science exhibition was _awesome._

Like literally, they'd gone early so it wasn't too crowded, and it had a heap of both cool gadgets and weird historical artefacts, and the information that went along with it was detailed enough that you could actually learn something from it. 

Gavin was quiet at first, drifting from one exhibit to another just reading silently to himself. He didn't want to seem too excited and look like a total freak. After a little while he realised that Jeremy was sort of just lurking by the side and it seemed like Gavin was ignoring him, so he swallowed his nerves and beckoned him over to talk about how eerily similar the ancient Greek statue of Hephaestus looked to Michael.

It took a few minutes for Jeremy to relax, but soon they were wandering through the exhibition together - talking, laughing, making stupid comments. Jeremy got all fired up when they got to the more modern section and starting debating the ethics of laws about robots, and even if they were arguing, it was in a nice way, a fun way. No real heat in it.

"I can't wait until the day they invent real robocops and we have them after us instead of the actual police," Gavin said at one point, "And we'll be able to think of all these super cool ways to get past them-"

He broke off as Jeremy's hand was suddenly over his mouth.

"Okay, could you not talk about our criminal activities so loudly in public?" Jeremy hissed. He was so close that Gavin could feel his breath against his ear, his heavy arm slung around his shoulders, so warm against his side it felt like a furnace. For a moment he could barely breathe and it wasn't just because Jeremy's hand was pressing against his nose and mouth. He nodded and Jeremy let go of him. He must've looked kinda dazed because Jeremy stared at him for a second.

"Alright?" he asked tentatively, and Gavin nodded.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. You're right," he said, with a furtive glance at a nearby security guard, though the woman seemed more interested in watching the seconds tick past on a clock up on the wall than on what the museum guests were doing.

The only other incident came when Gavin grabbed Jeremy's hand at one point to pull him over and show him a particularly cool exhibit. A second later he realised what he’d done and let go, embarrassed, even if Jeremy didn’t seem to notice anything amiss.

_Don’t be too obvious,_ he chided himself. _You’ll just embarrass yourself further_.

Still. They were two moments he tucked away to dwell on later, secretly, when he was at home and could be as pathetic as he wanted, replaying the feeling of Jeremy’s warm hand on him over and over again.

Before they left they took a selfie together with the big android at the door to the exhibition. Jeremy didn’t even argue when Gavin whipped the phone out.

“That’s a good one,” Gavin commented happily, perusing the photo once they were done and promptly sending it to Dan.

“I look like I have no neck,” Jeremy complained.

“It’s just the lighting.”

“You look good though,” Jeremy added, inexplicably. Gavin glanced at him, but his eyes were fixed on the phone. He tried not to read anything into it.

It was super cold when they got outside. Somehow, despite the sun rising even higher into the sky, it had only gotten even more freezing; the wind had picked up and there was even a light sprinkle of rain. Gavin shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and inched closer to Jeremy’s side until their arms were pressed together; the other man didn’t pull away.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, as they headed back towards the train station.

“Not really,” Jeremy replied, “I had a massive breakfast. Are you?”

“No,” Gavin lied, because he really couldn’t think of anything more dismal than sitting there while Jeremy watched him eat because he felt obliged to stick around. Still, he felt a little disappointed; it would’ve been nice to sit down and talk again about something other than the exhibition. 

_You’ll have other chances_ , he told himself.

“That was actually pretty fun,” Jeremy said then, and Gavin brightened up. “I don’t think I knew what to expect but it was interesting. Definitely different to what I usually do.”

“I’m glad you liked it!” Gavin chirped. “I loved it. I’m glad I could go.”

Jeremy was staring at him again. Gavin wondered if there was something on his face; he wasn’t wearing any makeup today so he couldn’t think what might be wrong with it. Eventually Jeremy shook himself and looked away.

“It’s still pretty early. What are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“I have some work I gotta do for Geoff,” Gavin replied, “But then I’m gonna play some video games with Dan once the time zone difference lines up.”

“Nice.” A slightly awkward pause. “Whatcha playing?”

“We’ve been trying PUBG lately! But we’re bad at it.”

“Oh nice.” Jeremy fidgeted, hands twisting in the sleeves of his jacket. “I’ve been playing that a lot lately too.”

“I think Michael and Ryan are gonna try get in a game with us later?” He tried to make it sound like an offer, hoping Jeremy would ask to join in too - but he just nodded again.

“Cool. Sounds like fun.”

Gavin tried to swallow his disappointment again - it had been a fun day, hadn’t it? He shouldn’t expect Jeremy to suddenly be BFFs with him. This wasn’t even real.

“Thanks for coming,” he said, as they reached the station. “I think I take a different train to you.”

“My car’s back at the penthouse,” Jeremy pointed out - Gavin lived far closer to it than he did - Gavin nodded, slapping his forehead.

“Oh right! I forgot we met there.”

“Trying to get rid of me, Free?” Jeremy asked, with a hint of a smirk. “You’ll be sick of me by the end of this fifty days.”

“I’m never sick of you, little J,” Gavin replied, maybe just a _bit_ too sincerely. Jeremy stared at him - then rolled his eyes as the train pulled in and they got on board. Still, he didn’t make any sort of mean comment (not gonna lie, Gavin had fully been expecting a _well I’m sick of you_ or something in that vein), and after a while he even asked what other sort of trips Gavin had planned.

—

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you’d wait,” Gavin said breathlessly, as he rushed into the lobby of the apartment building the penthouse was located in. It was late enough by now that most of the other residents were asleep and only a dim light in the corner was on. Jeremy was sitting on a couch by the side of the room, phone in hand, and it was so dark and quiet on this winter evening that it felt like the middle of the night even though it was only just past six.

"What kept you so long?" Jeremy asked. His voice was clipped enough that he was clearly annoyed about Gavin showing up half an hour after he said he would.

"Job went longer than expected. I couldn't get my phone out to let you know. I was only meant to do one thing today but then two other big deals sprang up and I had to travel halfway across the city for each one to meet with the clients." He took his sunglasses off and massaged behind his ears. His head hurt where the legs had dug into them. "I really am sorry. I thought you'd just go home."

"Well, I had to keep up my end of the deal. I wouldn't want you to bail on my heist," Jeremy said, and Gavin bit his lip, looking away, a bit hurt. It was true, but he didn't like the reminder that the only reason Jeremy was here was because of that. Not because he actually wanted to hang out with him.

They'd been planning to go to a movie tonight, since Gavin was determined to remedy the other area in which Jeremy was uncultured - in this case, un-pop-cultured. But to be honest, he was exhausted from running around so much, and he'd barely eaten all day, and it felt like his make up was smeared all over his face so he sort of just wanted to take it off, and wearing skinny jeans all day was fucking uncomfortable. The thought of not getting home until eleven p.m. or later was currently horrifying.

"I know we were gonna go out, but to be honest, those deals took a lot out of me," he said softly. "Even if it's just a movie I don't think I can handle being around more people at the moment. I've hit my capacity for social interaction."

"You wanna reschedule?" Jeremy asked. Gavin couldn't tell if he sounded annoyed about being made to wait for no reason, or disappointed. Or maybe it was barely restrained relief that he didn't have to spend time with him tonight.

"I mean, we can if you want, or I was thinking you can just come over to my place and we can watch something there?" He tried to make it sound like an offer, not a demand, pretty certain that Jeremy wouldn't take him up on it. "But if you're too tired, you don't have to. I won't hold it against you. I feel bad for making you wait."

"You really want me to come over?" Jeremy asked. 

Gavin couldn't meet his eyes.

"Only if you want to," he said, and shuffled his feet uncertainly. There was a long, strained pause.

"...okay."

Gavin looked up. He stared at Jeremy suspiciously, pretty sure that this was still just part of the deal, that Jeremy didn't believe him and was trying to get in his good books. But the other man stared steadily back at him and after a moment Gavin nodded. At least he had one nice thing to look forward to after a thoroughly exhausting day. Best not to look a gift horse in the mouth and all that.

"Warning you now, I'm gonna be a total slob at home. We're just gonna get takeaway or something. I'm too dead to do anything fancy."

"That's better, I reckon." Jeremy smiled. "Casual's more comfortable."

"Okay." Gavin was still a bit flabbergasted that the night was actually going ahead, but he shook himself. They headed into his car and he set off. That was about the time that the nerves kicked in - Jeremy had never been to his house before. Oh God, had he left his dirty laundry in a heap on the couch? No, he was pretty sure he'd put it in the machine this morning. What if Smee had tipped over his litter box again? 

_Relax_ , he thought. _What does it matter? He's duty bound not to hate you, no matter what your stupid apartment looks like. That's all this is, anyway. Just a deal_.

"You know," Jeremy said, after they'd driven for a while in a dazed sort of silence, the city nightlife flashing past them in fluorescent streaks of pink and green, "I always thought you were super extroverted, but you're really not, are you?"

"I'm confident when I'm doing the whole Golden Boy spiel," Gavin replied. "But definitely not an extrovert. God, hasn't Ryan told you how fucking shy I was with him when he first joined the crew?"

"I've heard a few interesting stories."

"I don't like being around people for too long," Gavin admitted. "And even less when it's a lot of people. One on one deals are my favourite. Big crowds I'm sort of iffy on."

"So that's legitimately why you didn't want to do my heist." Jeremy's voice was tight, but Gavin could tell he wasn't angry, not with him at least.

"Oh, I won't back out. I'll do it for you, Lil J. It _is_ a good idea. I think in the moment I'll be fine. It just isn't my first pick of role."

Jeremy nodded. He looked thoughtful. Gavin smiled and reached over to poke his arm.

"I promise, I'll be fine with doing it when the time comes. And you're right, it's the best position for me to be in. You need someone fluent to address the crowd."

"You should start teaching the rest of us some basics if we're actually going through with this," Jeremy said, and Gavin nodded, perking up.

"Of course! I'd love to teach you. Nice to be useful for once," he joked, but Jeremy frowned a little, though he didn't comment.

He lived so close to the penthouse that they were pulling into the parking garage just moments later. 

"We'll have a Bond marathon," Gavin announced, as they headed up the stairs to his apartment. "I can't believe you haven't seen any of them yet - any at _all!"_

"I had better things to do with my time growing up," Jeremy argued. "But I'll admit, I am curious."

"I feel like you probably miss half the references Geoff and I chuck around and just assume we’re legitimately spewing dramatic one-liners."

"Well, naturally," Jeremy replied, "Considering Ryan spends most of his time doing exactly that."

Gavin started laughing, a bit hysterically. As he unlocked the door to his flat his heart had started to pound, and it only picked up even further as they walked inside and he turned on the lights. He wasn't sure what Jeremy was expecting. Based solely on that damned bin, probably a house full of ridiculous, expensive shit, like Swarovski chandeliers and a 3D TV and as many high tech devices as possible.

It really wasn't. The bin was actually the pinnacle of technology in his home - unless you counted the changing coloured lights that he could control from his phone, but to be fair, Geoff had those too. They set the mood, okay? But other than those two things... he'd hadn't moved from this flat since he first moved out of Geoff's house a year into his time in AC, and because he'd been here so long - and since he was just a rookie in the crew - he'd built it up from scratch. Comfort was the key thing, more than anything else. A den of cosy couches with an assortment of cushions was nestled around his games centre, a series of wooden compartments that Jack had built for him. Shelves on the walls contained an assortment of books, games and trinkets. On the walls hung a mix of posters of his favourite movies and watercolour landscapes of various European cities. Nothing was particularly flashy, and he hadn't had time to clean so there was still a used mug on the coffee table from this morning and a mess of old shopping bags in the corner. 

He could tell Jeremy was curious; the other man had wandered inside and was unabashedly looking around. Gavin gestured at the couch.

"Make yourself comfortable," he said. " _Mi casa es su casa_ and all that."

"Didn't realise you spoke Spanish as well," Jeremy joked, and Gavin giggled, the tension broken a little. He threw his bag onto the couch and pointed to a stack of menus near the telephone.

"I'm gonna go shower but you can order something if you want. I'm easy so pick whatever you like. There's a nice Thai place that's close by."

"Your flat's nice," Jeremy said, as he toed off his shoes by the door. "It's cosy."

"Thanks," Gavin replied. "My cat's hiding somewhere around here. He's a bit shy."

"Oh my God, a cat," Jeremy blurted out gleefully, and Gavin laughed again. He headed off into his bedroom feeling rather more relaxed, and shut the door where he took a moment to just enjoy the situation.

_Jeremy's in my house_ , he thought, all giddy and breathless. _Just the two of us. Hanging out. He's sitting on my couch right damn now._

It was a bit of a dream come true, and he closed his eyes for a moment, drinking it in, before quickly heading into his ensuite. It was a relief to wiped off his makeup and get under the hot shower after a day spent standing either in too-warm heated buildings or out in the freezing winter air. Still - every moment he was acutely aware of Jeremy waiting in the next room, so he washed up quickly before throwing on his pyjama pants and hoodie and heading back out to join him.

Jeremy had apparently managed to track down and befriend Smee in the time Gavin was out of the room. He was sitting on the couch stroking him when Gavin padded back out and headed for the kitchenette.

"Do you want a drink?" Gavin asked. "I'm making a coffee but I have a nice whiskey if you wanna try it."

"I'd love a drink. I've ordered food already, by the way." He stood up and came to join Gavin, sitting on one of the kitchen stools while Gavin switched the kettle on. "It's weird being here. I think your place and Ryan's are the only houses I've never been to."

"Ryan doesn't let anyone over to his house. He's been claiming he'll invite us all to dinner for three years now and it just doesn't happen. I remember when you invited us all to your place." That'd been soon after Jeremy joined the crew, when he was trying to get to know them. His place had been pretty bare since he'd only just moved to AC. "I assume you've added more furniture since then."

"Yeah, that was a good night." Jeremy smiled a bit - Gavin did too. That was before Jeremy hated him. He remembered how bevved they'd all gotten and how he and Jeremy had been on a team while they played beer pong. That was when he'd first started falling for the other man - when he noticed how kind his eyes were, and how funny he was, and how cute he was when he got all competitive and worked up about something. And then, he remembered, Jeremy had arm wrestled with Michael and that was when Gavin had been totally gone for him. Who could blame him, looking at those muscles?

"You should hold more parties," Gavin said, sliding Jeremy's glass across the counter towards him. "I wanna meet your cats too. You have three now, right? That's an excellent number. Ideal, in fact."

"I could," Jeremy said fondly. "How about you? Not gonna invite everyone over to your place?"

Gavin pulled a face.

“I only invite select individuals over,” he said. “I… I didn’t have my own place for a long time, so I kind of like to keep it just for me.”

Jeremy nodded, though the curiosity on his face was apparent. Gavin busied himself making the world’s most decadent Irish coffee and by the time he finished Jeremy was staring into his own glass. He looked up and when their eyes met he seemed like he was going to ask something else, but the doorbell rang before he could, and they both scrambled to go and answer it.

\---

A chill evening on the couch in the comfort of his own home was definitely much better than being stuck at the theatre. For one, they could actually talk without worrying about annoying everyone else. Gavin felt more confident now that they were in his own space and even Jeremy didn't seem to feel too awkward; they curled up on opposite ends of the couch, balancing bowls of food on their laps, Smee settled comfortably next to Gavin's thigh.

Jeremy even seemed to be enjoying the films; they started with Goldfinger and then moved on to the Craig version of Casino Royale. It was getting pretty late but with a few drinks in them things were going well. Gavin couldn't help chiming in now and then with comments, especially in the intervals when they paused the movie to get more drinks, stories about how he used to watch these with his grandfather, and then a rather detailed explanation of why he ranked the Bond actors in the order he did (a topic he could discuss all day, given half the chance).

"Sorry, I'm being annoying," he said finally, when it hit him just how much he was talking again.

"You're not," Jeremy replied, firmly.

"I am - it's a stupid thing to have such a longwinded opinion on."

"Dude. You think I couldn't talk about rock bands for hours? Nothing wrong with being passionate about something." He smiled at Gavin, encouragingly, and he had to look away to hide his blush, a warm flush spreading through his chest (on second thought, it may have been from all the whiskey he'd been drinking).

As it turned out, their evening didn't last much longer after that, mostly because Gavin decided to rest his eyes just for a second and ended out passing out on the couch. He couldn't help it; it was warm in the apartment, and his stomach was full, and it'd been such a busy day. He was out like a light before he knew it. He woke up vaguely at one point to find Jeremy walking around the room. The other man said something to him, but Gavin couldn't really tell what it was, drifting in and out of consciousness as it was. The only thing he was aware of was Jeremy moving closer to the couch and spreading a blanket out over him. Then he slipped away again.

He woke up when sunlight starting spilling between the blinds and the room grew so bright that it roused him awake. Sitting up, he looked around the living room, blinking groggily. 

Jeremy was here. He couldn't remember much other than that, but the blanket draped over him and the fact that the takeaway boxes were stacked neatly on the corner of the coffee table spoke for themselves. His phone was plugged in to charge - a fact that made his heart swell a little for how considerate it was - and when he picked it up he had a text from Jeremy from just past midnight.

_'You fell asleep so I headed home. I washed up. Your cat wanted to go outside but I didn't let him. See you Monday. Thanks - that was fun!'_ And then two sleeping emojis that made Gavin chuckle. 

_That was fun._ He hadn't had to say that. He hadn't even had to bother sending a message like that in the first place. Gavin sat back on the couch, curled up in the blanket, warm and content. He smiled a bit wistfully - thinking of some ideal parallel universe where Jeremy didn't leave, but fell asleep next to him. Or where they both slipped away to bed together, and in the morning the other man was still there for Gavin to bring a morning coffee and some breakfast to.

He bit his lip. This whole deal was starting to feel a bit dangerous - starting to make him long for something he knew he couldn't have. It felt vaguely like a bad idea, like something he shouldn't be encouraging. The longer it went on, the harder it would be to let go.

But he couldn't help it. By this point he was in too deep and there was no backing out of things now.

\---

Fifty days.

They seemed to fly by, blending into one another. Time always passed quickly when the crew was prepping for a job, too much to do in too little time, and as they started putting the pieces together to take out a rival gang that was pushing into their territory, Gavin found himself too exhausted most nights to fully capitalise on his ability to make Jeremy do fun shit with him.

Still. There were little things, things that only made him grow ever more affectionate towards the other man. They started playing video games together at night - when Gavin directly asked Jeremy to play PUBG with them, he jumped at the chance so eagerly that it seemed he actually had been waiting for a proper invitation. Gavin was terrible - at that and just about everything else they played - but Jeremy started protecting him in games instead of yelling at him for letting the whole team down, and that was nice - reminded him of the early days, made him feel all sort of flustered and special inside.

Games were probably the best time to bond; Gavin could make Jeremy laugh easily with his ridiculous antics, and the other man didn't seem as guarded in such a low-stakes activity. It was easy to fall into a comfortable level of teasing and banter.

They'd get lunch together, if their schedules lined up, and most of the time Jeremy insisted on paying. Their arguments took on a more playful tinge and Jeremy sided with him in the ongoing prank war against Michael (something he'd previously been firmly against, citing Gavin's actions as 'bratty' and 'childish' as though filling the air conditioner in Michael's car with hot pink glitter wasn't absolutely fucking hilarious). Sometimes Jeremy even drove him home from work, if Gavin finished late and he happened to still be around.

There were moments sometimes - when Jeremy touched him, or looked at him a certain way, or went all quiet and thoughtful - that he could almost imagine the other man was starting to like him too. But he shook them off, trying not to get his hopes up, sure that he was just projecting his own feelings.

Still. They were talking more than they ever had, and Jeremy seemed to be _enjoying_ their outings now, or at least he was making a very convincing show of it. 

Overall, Gavin was having the time of his damn life. 

\---

The hit against the rival crew went as smoothly as anything involving murder, gunfire and incendiary grenades really could.

This wasn't Gavin's favourite sort of job - the ones where they directly set out with the intent to kill. He was good at negotiating, not intimidating. Give him an over-complicated bank heist any day. But they had a territory to protect, which meant he went charging in guns blazing with all the rest.

There were a couple of little mishaps - the guys had heavier weapons and more manpower than their intel had suggested - but working together, they took all of them down, and before long they were finished and back at the base.

Usually after a success like this they'd all head down to the pub, but Geoff and Jack were out doing cleanup and arranging for their men to take over the gang's territory, and Ryan had to go to sleep early because he had a hit the next morning, and Michael wanted to go home to Lindsay.

It left just Jeremy and Gavin sitting in the penthouse, packing away the equipment they'd used. Gavin was sitting in the kitchen with his shirt off, inspecting a deep graze along his side, when Jeremy walked in and stopped short.

"Shit, Gav - you got hit?"

He sounded genuinely alarmed, and Gavin looked up with a quick smile.

"Not by a bullet! When we were rappelling down from the roof I got caught a bit by some shrapnel from the blast that Michael used to blow the doors in. It's nothing major."

"It's bleeding," Jeremy said with a frown, and snatched up the first aid kit from the kitchen counter. "Let me take a look."

"I could do it," Gavin said softly, though he wasn't quite sure why he was sabotaging his chances of getting Jeremy to touch him. As it was, Jeremy ignored him, pulling up a stool to sit opposite him anyway and ripping open an antiseptic wipe.

"Today went well," Gavin said, nervously. He fought not to tense up when Jeremy put a hand on his wait to steady him. "You were great."

"Fighting's what I'm good at," Jeremy murmured. He dabbed at the wound and Gavin hissed. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Kinda unavoidable." He bit his lip, trying to remain stoic. When Jeremy's hand brushed against his ribs as he cleaned the wound he couldn't stop his giggle. "Sorry. That kinda tickled."

"Ticklish, huh?" Jeremy asked, so wickedly that Gavin felt his cheeks heat. "I'll file that away for future reference."

_Will you?_ Gavin thought, and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to steady his breathing. Jeremy apparently took that as an indication that he was in pain; he squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before getting out the betadine.

"Those guys didn't go down easy," he said, as he dabbed it over the wound before getting out a bandage. "We're lucky we didn't end up with more casualties."

"We worked together. We stuck to our plan. That's how the Fakes got to the top," Gavin said. Jeremy smoothed the bandage over his skin and their eyes met for a moment. Jeremy's fingers lingered over his abdomen. His brows were furrowed just a little, his eyes dark with something deeply concerned.

Gavin swallowed, heart fluttering, overly aware of how close Jeremy was standing to him. Close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating off the other man's body. Close enough that he wouldn't have to lean in very far for their lips to touch.

He swallowed, and turned his head away.

"I, uh - I had something planned for tomorrow night, but too be honest I'm too riled up from that job to really go home and crash yet. Did you want to take a drive up Chiliad?" he asked.

Jeremy blinked a few times. He turned away, packing up the med kit.

"Yeah," he said after a moment, "I think that'd be nice. I'd like to get away from the city for a bit."

Gavin nodded and got to his feet. The base felt too quiet around them, the whole world a little too dark, the hunch of Jeremy's shoulders too pronounced. Weeks of planning finished in just twenty minutes of explosions and gunfire and blood under their shoes. Sometimes this all felt too much like a dream. He rubbed his aching side and walked to pull his shirt back on.

\---

They didn't speak much as they drove around the winding mountainside path, watching the lights of the city grow smaller and smaller below them. By the time they reached the top of the mountain Gavin's jitters about the whole day had settled into a funny, calm stillness. 

It was freezing on the top of Chiliad and he instantly wished he'd brought his proper coat. Jeremy was only faring a little better in his leather jacket, blowing on his hands and rubbing them together, every breath sending a gust of white fog into the night air.

"There are so many stars up here," Gavin said, as they walked up to the observation platform. "Always mean to bring a telescope one day but I keep forgetting."

"It's beautiful," Jeremy agreed. "What are you doing?"

Gavin had paused to rummage in a crate next to an old dumpster. He let out a triumphant crow as he pulled out the bag of fireworks.

"I left these here last time Michael and I came up! Knew they were still around."

"How long ago was that?" Jeremy asked dubiously. "Sure it hasn't rained since then?"

"They're wrapped in plastic," Gavin assured him. "Come on, let's set them off!"

There was something childishly exciting about fumbling about in the cold trying to set off the fireworks, something that reminded Gavin of the shit he used to pull with his friends as a kid - sneaking out at night to break into their school, or spray graffiti out in the train tunnels. Stupid, furtive stunts that got their blood racing at the thought of being caught.

It was worth it to see the fireworks go wheeling into the air and crackle and pop overhead, the dark sky above exploding in pinwheels of colour and light. Jeremy yelled with delight when he found orange and purple fireworks to let off, and Gavin ended up rolling about in fits of laughter at the sight of it. He had his own golden sparklers and watching the two light up against each other made his heart stutter in his chest.

The cityscape was already beautiful, seen from a distance when all the grot and ugliness faded away and all they could see was the outline of the buildings sloping down towards the bay. The fireworks overhead only made Gavin love this place even more, and his throat felt suddenly tight with emotion as he watched Jeremy lighting each one and sending it off into the sky. He wished this night could last forever, that they could stay up here together and never have to go back down.

Eventually they ran out of fireworks and ended up sitting next to each other on the deck, legs dangling over the edge, shoulders pressed together to keep warm, staring up at the stars. Jeremy had brought beer and Gavin let the alcohol be his excuse for leaning more heavily against his side. The other man didn't shrug him off like he once might've.

"I love this city," Gavin said happily. "I really do."

"It's a shit hole," Jeremy said bluntly, and Gavin laughed.

"I know, but everywhere's a shit hole when you look under all the glamour. This is a shit hole where my _family_ is. Makes all the difference."

"You don't miss England?" Jeremy asked, and Gavin shook his head.

"Nothing for me there but painful memories," he admitted, and felt Jeremy grow still next to him. He swallowed, a little sombre now, but unsure if he should continue. If the other man even cared. He didn't want to ruin a happy moment by bringing up his shitty past.

Finally Jeremy took a stuttering breath.

"Same for me with Boston," he said. "I never liked it there. I... I didn't grow up with a lot. Ended up in those stupid fights just to try and make ends meet, but I hated that, too. Most of all I hated all the rich bastards on top - not just the corrupt civilians but the criminals too, the ones who used their money and power to crush everyone else underfoot. That's what drew me to Achievement City - the Fakes and the way you do things. Guess it appealed to my Robin Hood tendencies. Yeah, we make money, but it's not all about that."

Gavin huffed out a laugh.

"Guess that's why you can't stand the Golden Boy," he said, and Jeremy's cheeks turned a bit red.

"I thought it was satire at first, your whole spiel," he said. "Now I'm just sort of confused."

"It's not satire, but it's not _me."_ He put his beer down and folded his hands together, then jammed them under his armpits to try and keep warm. It was hard to look at Jeremy as he spoke. "I... I probably talk about Nonno way too much."

"I've noticed," Jeremy said, but kindly. "He must've meant a lot to you."

"He was everything. He took me in, he raised me, he taught me everything I know. But he had enemies - you can't ever really leave the mafia. When I was eighteen they tracked him down and killed him in front of me. I barely managed to escape." It'd been ten years and just saying the words still made a lump rise in his throat. He felt Jeremy's strong arm tuck around his shoulders, tug him close, the other man's thumb kneading a gentle circle against his arm. "They went after me. I spent the next five years on the run. England, Germany, France... I couldn't stop in any one place for too long. I had nothing. I was homeless. Picked pockets to survive. Had to kill a bunch of them before they could kill me. I know what it's like to have nothing. So when I finally got out of there, when I finally got to America and joined up with Geoff - I never wanted to feel like that again. The Golden Boy is the opposite of everything that stupid, scared kid was. He's rich. He's powerful. He's in control. He's everything I wanted to be in those five years."

"I'm sorry," Jeremy whispered, and Gavin managed to shrug. He looked up, finally - Jeremy's face was soft and he hadn't taken his arm away from around Gavin.

"It was a long time ago. Things are better now. Geoff and Jack have been really good to me. And Michael and Ryan are like my brothers."

Jeremy nodded. After a second Gavin nervously laid his head on the other man's shoulder; Jeremy just pulled him closer and Gavin let his eyes shut, drinking in the warm body next to him, the familiar smell of Jeremy's aftershave, the slight scratch of his beard.

"You're amazing, you know?" Jeremy murmured, and a warm flush spread through Gavin's whole body.

"I'm not," he said. "I'm annoying and stupid and I act without thinking."

"You're the smartest guy I know. You speak four fucking languages. You're stronger than most of us give you credit for."

Gavin blushed even deeper.

"Why are you being so nice?" he asked, embarrassed. "You're the cool one, with your motorbikes and your boxing. Although the name Rimmy Tim could be a bit more epic."

"Excuse you, Rimmy Tim is a masterpiece. And I'm not," Jeremy added, "I still feel like I'm out of my depth with you all sometimes. Like I'm just tagging along playing pretend."

"You really aren't," Gavin said. "Don't doubt yourself, Lil J. You deserve to be here as much as any of us. I mean it."

He caught Jeremy's smile in the corner of his eyes. The silence that followed felt too loaded, too intense, something too intimate about the two of them being alone up here and how close Jeremy's hand was to his neck, so close that the slightest movement made all Gavin's fine hairs stand on end.

It would be easy, too easy, to blurt out how he felt. To put the truth out there and have Jeremy finally _know_ \- know just how much Gavin adored him, how much he _wanted_ him, how much every tiny interaction of theirs meant to him. And God, maybe there was a sliver of a chance that he felt the same way.

But he couldn't do it.

It was one thing to walk into a negotiation with a notorious gang leader, to rappel through the roof of an enemy gang's warehouse, to survive in the streets of a foreign country for weeks alone. But this - this was more terrifying than all of that; this was the one are where Gavin felt like a coward. Felt far too vulnerable.

The words wouldn't come. The second he thought about doing it, all his self doubts rose up again.

_Why would he love you?_

_He could have anyone he wanted. Why pick the idiot, the stupid broken boy who's only gold on the surface, the annoying freak who cares too much about ridiculous things, the guy who pisses him off every other day? Why would he pick_ you?

He closed his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. Pressed closer against Jeremy's side and let himself get lost in his warmth, just for a little while - _just for now_ \- vaguely aware that he was in too deep but unable to bring himself to care.

\---

Three days left.

Three days and things were only getting harder and harder. That night had seemed to last forever and when they drove back home at dawn to crash in their beds Gavin almost felt like the whole thing had been a dream. He and Jeremy didn't talk about it afterwards, but he felt closer to the other man now that he'd shared something so personal with him. He couldn't tell if it went both ways. Jeremy kept giving him these looks that he couldn't figure out.

But now - now there were three days left and Gavin was starting to feel anxious; a rising panic in his chest and overly conscious of every second slipping past, aware that he was running out of time.

_You need to stop hoping._

His plan for this to be some final, last grand encour of his feelings before he forced himself to move on was looking more and more like a fool's hope. After this there was no way he could just shut things down. After this...

Three days.

Two days.

And then he woke up on the last day of the deal feeling sick as fuck, feeling like something special was coming to an end, feeling like whatever happened next would shatter him somehow. What if things changed back to how they were? What if Jeremy had been pretending this whole time, what if he went right back to hating him?

It didn't help that he barely saw Jeremy that day, both of them assigned on different jobs. He felt antsy, longing to get back to the base, to make the most of these final few hours. He felt like he was sitting on death row, so stressed that he could barely eat all day and his muscles ached from being held so tensely.

When he finally made his way back to the penthouse it was to find Michael and Jeremy planning in the board room.

"Gavino!" Michael crowed as he entered. "We were just talking about you."

"Oh yeah?" Gavin asked, nervously. "What's up?"

"Fifty days, remember?" Jeremy turned to him with a big grin. "Nearly all over."

Gavin's stomach sank. He hadn't brought up how many days were left all week, had sort of hoped that maybe they'd all forget. But the look on Jeremy's face made it perfectly clear that he hadn't.

"There's about nine hours left," Michael added wickedly, "Jeremy's been counting down. Guess you managed to survive, huh?"

This directed at Jeremy, who threw his head back and laughed. Gavin felt cold all over, stood frozen by the door unable to move.

"Miraculously," he said. "Everything back to normal by tomorrow, though! And then Gavin's gotta be in my heist. I think I did a pretty good job of it, don't you, Gav?"

"Yeah," Gavin managed weakly, and swallowed. He felt dazed and cold and turned on his heel, murmuring some excuse that even he couldn't figure out before heading for the bathroom. He paused inside, resting his head against the cool tiled wall, feeling ill.

_You shouldn't have gotten so invested, you idiot. It's all a big joke to him. Nothing's changed. He's gonna go back to hating you like he used to. You always do this - you get all stupid and can't tell that everyone else just sees you as a fucking idiot._

"Gavin?" 

A sharp rap on the door made him jump. The fact that it was Jeremy's voice on the other side only made his chest seize up. 

"You okay? You looked kinda sick when you rushed off."

"I'm fine." His voice did not sound fine at all, strained and sickly and completely unconvincing. "Felt dizzy for a sec."

"Do you need me to get you something to eat?"

"I said I'm _fine,_ Jeremy," he snapped. "Just - give me a minute, yeah?"

There was a silence from the other side of the door that felt distinctly _hurt_ , and it made a heavy guilt settle in Gavin's chest. Then Jeremy's footsteps retreated away into silence, and Gavin squeezed his eyes shut, pressed his head harder against the wall.

_You can't have this. You never could. And now he hates you again, just like he always did. Your last day and you wasted the whole fucking thing. Great going, idiot_. He realised he was shaking and forced himself to breathe deeply for a few moments. _Get used to it. This is how it is._

\---

Jeremy didn't message him that night, and he spent the evening staring at his phone screen until his eyes burned. He only finally managed to sleep shortly before his alarm woke him up, and as soon as he realised it was a new day - the fifty first day - he knew he wouldn’t be able to go in to work. He felt like shit and it wasn’t just because he’d gotten two hours of sleep.

_It’s over_. He couldn’t quite believe that the fifty days had gone by so fast. It all felt a bit like a dream, now. _It’s over and he hates you and you’ll never have that again._

His whole body seemed to be in physical pain and all he wanted to do was curl up and feel sorry for himself and hopefully sleep so that he wouldn’t have to be awake to deal with this. And then, because there were no important jobs on that day, he naturally texted Geoff to let him know he was sick and promptly let himself fall back asleep.

\---

Gavin was drifting in and out of unsettled dreams - dreams about being lost in foreign streets, about no one understanding him when he spoke, knowing Jeremy was somewhere in the city but unable to find him. He woke up when there came a vigorous pounding at his door and startled upright, feeling groggy and confused and vaguely scared. Sudden loud noises usually meant danger in their business.

Then he remembered where he was, and why he wasn’t at work. He clambered out of bed and went to see who it was.

When he looked through the peephole and saw familiar bright orange, his heart nearly stopped.

“Jeremy?” he blurted out, before he could stop himself. “What are you doing here?”

“Gav? I came to check on you! Let me in!”

He realised it was bright outside - just past noon. He’d slept all morning and he must look a mess, his face puffy, his hair askew. He didn’t have time to fix any of it, though, and opened the door to find Jeremy standing there with a plastic bag in hand and a worried look on his face.

“Geoff said you were sick. I brought you soup. You look like shit,” he added, “Do you have a fever?”

Gavin didn’t move from the doorway, blocking his way in. Just the sight of Jeremy, with his brows furrowed all concerned-like, had made his chest tighten. But he couldn’t do this anymore - he couldn’t keep giving himself false hope.

“Why are you here?” he repeated, a bit hysterically.

Jeremy blinked. Another flash of concern crossed his face, like he thought Gavin was so sick that he was out of it.

“I was worried,” he repeated.

“ _Were_ you?” Gavin demanded, and Jeremy stared at him. Then his brows furrowed, and he pushed past Gavin into the flat before he could stop him, rounding on him the second he was in the door.

“What’s that tone for? Why are you being an asshole suddenly?” he asked, and Gavin swallowed. His tongue felt too large for his mouth.

“I’m fine,” he managed, “You can go.”

“I’m not going until you tell me what’s up.”

“I’m not sick.”

“Then what’s going on?” Jeremy planted his hands on his hips and glared up at Gavin. And even now, even despite everything, how fierce he looked and sounded only made Gavin love him even more. “You’ve been weird since yesterday. Did something happen?”

Gavin could only stare at him, mutely. After a moment his defiance fizzled away and he collapsed to the couch, exhausted. Jeremy’s hands slowly lowered. He stepped towards Gavin, concerned.

“I really am worried,” he said softly. “Whatever happened, I can help you with it.”

“It’s stupid,” Gavin whispered, but Jeremy sat on the couch next to him, his hand coming down on Gavin’s back, so warm and comforting that he wanted nothing more than to lean in to the touch. He was so tired - he didn’t think he could fight any more. “You’ll laugh.”

“I wouldn’t. Not if it’s something making you this upset. Gavin, please tell me what’s wrong.” He was starting to sound genuinely scared, now, and Gavin swallowed hard.

“The fifty days are up,” he heard himself say, so quietly Jeremy had to lean in to hear. “I’m sad because you’re gonna go back to hating me and… and the last few weeks have been so _good._ It was nice just to pretend for a bit.”

He looked down at his hands. Jeremy was totally silent next to him, and it stretched on for so long that Gavin’s heart sank and he expected the other man to get up and leave any second now. Walk out the door away from this pathetic creature. Then Jeremy squeezed his shoulder - Gavin still couldn’t bring himself to look up.

“Gavin,” Jeremy said slowly, “You know I don’t actually hate you, right? I never did.”

Gavin stayed silent, the words not quite registering. He heard Jeremy take a shaky breath and when he spoke again his voice was firmer.

“I’m serious,” he said. “I mean - I’d get annoyed at you before, and I’ll admit I made some assumptions about you that gave me a wrong perception of you, but I never _hated_ you. Far from it. All that shit I used to say, I was just teasing you. I didn’t realise you took it to heart, I… the others make fun of you all the time and I just assumed you knew I didn’t really mean it. And I certainly don’t hate you now. It was fun getting to know you so much more over the last few weeks. I really enjoyed all those outings we went on - I wasn’t pretending any of that. Things don’t have to change just because the deal is up.”

“Oh,” Gavin said softly.

“I mean it. And I’m so sorry if you thought I actually meant any of the shit I used to say. I really didn’t. I’m an idiot,” Jeremy added, “I should’ve realised since I’m not as close to you as Michael or Geoff that I shouldn’t-”

“It’s not that,” Gavin blurted out - didn’t want him to blame himself, could already hear the spiralling self-deprecation in Jeremy’s voice. “No, Jeremy, it’s not that. I have thick skin, usually, I can take teasing.”

“Then why?” Jeremy demanded, and Gavin finally looked up - God, he could barely breathe now, he was more scared than he’d ever been - but it was time, he couldn’t let this go on.

“Because I _like_ you,” he whispered. “I have a great big stupid bloody crush on you. I have since you joined the crew. I like you so much I don’t know what to do with myself. But I know you… you didn’t like me and I just…”

He hung his head, unsure what to say. He could feel Jeremy staring at him and now he shifted away, hunching into himself - but Jeremy grabbed his shoulder again.

“Gavin,” he said, his voice startlingly firm.

Gavin couldn’t look up, but Jeremy tugged insistently at his shoulder.

“Gav, look at me,” he said, and Gavn looked up. His eyes were blurry with tears and he saw Jeremy’s face soften, then the other man lifted a hand and brushed the dampness tenderly from his cheek. 

“Hey,” Jeremy said gently, “Don’t be upset, okay? I promise, you have nothing to be sad about.”

“I fucked up everything-”

“No, you’re perfect. Just listen a moment, Gav.” Jeremy squeezed his shoulders and Gavin realised he was smiling. He took a shaky breath and finally met Jeremy’s eyes properly. “That’s better. First, let me apologise again for being so much of a dick that you thought I actually hated you.”

“We’re all dicks,” Gavin said, and Jeremy laughed.

“Yeah, but I should’ve realised you thought I was serious.”

“I hide it well,” Gavin managed, and Jeremy’s smile turned a little sad before he cupped Gavin’s cheek again and smiled.

"Still. I don’t hate you. Secondly, these last five weeks… I know I was complaining, but I didn’t mean it. I liked it, Gavin. All our adventures and finding out more about each other and getting closer. I like _you._ I found you intimidating at first and I… I thought you were a much different person to what you actually are and so I didn’t really get to know you until now. But these last five weeks…” and there was a flush of colour in Jeremy’s own cheeks, now. “Spending so much time alone together, I… I’ve always admired you, even before I joined the crew, but it took spending all that time together to realise just how much. I like you too, Gavin. I never thought someone like the Golden Boy could fall for me, some stupid little street fighter who’s barely been in the crew three months-”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been gone for you since your second week here,” Gavin blurted out, and Jeremy gave a startled laugh.

“Well… good, I suppose. That makes things much easier.” 

It took Gavin a second to really register what he was saying. When it hit him, it nearly took his breath away. He’d wanted this for so long, had thought it so out of reach, that now that it was finally happening it was nearly impossible to believe. He reached up, clutching at Jeremy’s shoulders, lips working soundlessly.

“You…” was all he managed, and Jeremy chuckled again.

“I don’t hate you,” he repeated. “The opposite, actually.”

Gavin’s eyes widened. Then he broke into a huge grin, and Jeremy smiled, stroking his cheek.

“Now that’s much better,” he said, and tugged Gavin closer into a tight hug, one hand coming up to run through his hair. Gavin squeezed him back, wondering if he was dreaming - it was hard, after so long, to register that this was _real_. That he really could have everything he’d wanted.

“You’re sure?” he heard himself say, and Jeremy pushed him back a little to meet his eyes.

“Are you kidding? I should be asking you that. Of course I’m sure,” he said, “And I don’t know how in the world _Gavin Free_ fell for me, but I want to give this a try. I really do. You’re gonna have to think up a pretty spectacular first date though because you’ve blown some pretty fantastic ideas on those outings.”

Gavin giggled, the tension finally broken, and pressed his forehead to Jeremy’s.

“Maybe you can think up one,” he ventured.

“I’d like that,” Jeremy said, “I think it’s my turn to treat you after all that. Can I kiss you?” he added, something tentative and almost reverent in it.

“I just woke up,” Gavin said, a bit stupidly.

“Don’t care,” Jeremy replied, and pulled him closer. Their lips met and Gavin’s brain may have short circuited for a moment. It was something he’d imagined for so long that finally _having_ it felt like a dream. Jeremy’s lips were soft and warm and he could feel how strong the other man was, his broad shoulders under Gavin’s hands, his grip on Gavin’s jaw and in his hair gentle but firm. 

They pulled apart and Jeremy cradled him close, smiling at him, eyes trailing over Gavin’s face like he was drinking in every detail. For the first time Gavin allowed himself to actually register the care and affection in the other man’s eyes, to see them for what they were. 

“I really like you,” he whispered - it was stupid, but it was all he could say, and Jeremy broke into another genuine smile and tugged him closer to press his cheek to Gavin’s.

“I really like you too,” he murmured, fondly, so close the feel of his breath made Gavin shiver. “And I intend to show you just how much. But we have all the time in the world - go get dressed and I’ll make us some lunch. That sound okay?”

“Sounds perfect,” Gavin replied, and the gentle brush of Jeremy’s kiss against his cheek sent tingles down his spine. Everything in him thrummed happily as they got up and Jeremy caught his hand, their fingers tangling together for a moment, pure warmth in his eyes - his doubts melted away and he knew, somehow, that this was no pretence, no fleeting daydream. For the first time, this felt _real_ , and he let himself believe it.

 


End file.
